The 3 Rs is an idea that stayed with me after reading the book: 'What Happened To You?' by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey.
The idea is that if a child is having a hard time emotionally, they likely won't have the mental capacity to relate or reason with you until they are emotionally regulated first.
1️⃣ So, first, help your child REGULATE.
Next, children often find it difficult to reason with you or engage in higher level cognitive thinking about their behaviour and experiences...unless there is a glue of connection.
2️⃣ So next, consider connecting - what Dr. Bruce Perry calls RELATE.
Now that they are emotionally settled and connected to you, they are much more likely to be able to think about multiple perspectives, problem-solve, and talk about how things played out with whatever happened. And also, what can be done differently.
3️⃣ And so this would be the point at which you could REASON.
So the next time your child is having a hard time emotionally, remember:
(And if you, like me, forget or struggle at times with it, I'll add another R to the list that you could use if you need to...
...the R of Repair 😊
You. Are. Welcome 🙃 )
And remember as you parent, that it's not practice makes perfect, it's practice makes progress.
📚 🎧 I listened to 'What Happened To You?' book on Audible and it was fantastic mashaAllah.
* The 3 Rs (Regulate, Relate and Reason) are from Dr. Bruce Perry's work.
❓Curious: how do you help your child when they're having a hard time? Would love to hear from you below in the comments 👇🏽
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