Have you ever said something unkind to someone you love, been impatient with them, when you yourself have felt so, so good?
So sometimes, whilst the strategies and things like that help in our parenting, a big chunk of being able to be patient and calm in our parenting is connected to how we’re feeling.
Are we feeling well?
Do we have some feelings we need to process?
Are we super tired?
Could we do with a break?
“I felt so good and well and because I felt so good, I snapped” - Said No Parent Ever.
It’s usually: “I felt so tired and then I snapped.”
Or “I had a few things on my mind, and then I snapped.”
So, strategies aside, I think it's helpful to try to think of good parenting as being directly linked to our level of well being.
It begins with us.
And of course, we all have our context and seasons. Sometimes, it’s a testing season…or we’re under-resourced…I get that (and also experience it). And I believe, *some* intentional self-care is better than none.
As always, we can start where we are. Do we can. Use what we have (that’s how the saying goes, right?)
With this in mind, could you…?
Get still and pour your heart out in du’a?
Make yourself a great beverage? (I’m having Somali spiced tea or a green smoothie on rotation these days!)
Spend some time in nature?
Have a long shower?
Read a book you love?
Write out what you’re grateful to Allah for?
Journal out your feelings or call someone you’re close to and can be vulnerable with?
Go for a walk and listen to some fun nasheeds? (me the other evening here in Dubai…)
Listen to a khutbah or any inspiring audio content?
Move your body? (I like walks)
Book a quick coffee date with someone whose company you enjoy? (These can be virtual! Hello Zoom!)
And if you opt for just making a lovely hot drink, remember to think “I’m making myself an amazing hot drink, I’m such a good parent”. (lol) You don’t need to do that 😂 But please do take care of yourself 😊
I’d love to know: what helps you feel good or adds to your cup? Please consider dropping it in the comments, if it feels aligned.
And remember as you parent, that it's not practice makes perfect, it's practice makes progress. One step at a time is perfectly fine, Mama.
Photo Credit: Mikhail Nilov